it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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