Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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