You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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