Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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