did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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