it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
