I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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