guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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