you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
