Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
