While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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