I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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