just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize