There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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