Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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