Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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