I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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