the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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