I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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