I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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