so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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