someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
