i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
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If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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