How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
