NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
