The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
