my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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