he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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