Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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