we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
