But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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