dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
