One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
