You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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