New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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