just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
