they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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