the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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