I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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