This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
