i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
