just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
