She announced her abortion via fbk
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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