R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My cat gives me a boner
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
