debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
