Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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