her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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