i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Pants are for mortals
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