physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
