I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
