I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
