What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Pants are for mortals
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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