I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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