Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
