I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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