The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize