pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
