Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
