Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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