The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
