This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
